You are a dull razor
grinding against my heart
dragging slowly,
tearing fibers one at a time.
Not deep enough to kill.
Strong enough to wound, to burn,
searing and branding me,
a constant reminder of your presence.
When you chase, I run.
A pursuit of perfection,
body, mind, and spirit.
Damaging myself to avoid you.
Starving, working, sacrificing,
striving, extending, dying.
When you catch me, I am paralyzed
stuck, terrified, frozen.
You project my failures,
a public feature.
Most painfully, I believe you,
enslaved by your hatred.
You spew venom:
You say I am worthless,
flawed, unlovable, hated.
You promise protection,
but deliver isolation, fear, and pain.
My heart hurts, I feel inadequate;
you congratulate yourself.
Your dull razor burns, scars, ruins.
The greatest lie that you tell
is that you don't exist.
Your goal is to kill me,
to demolish love, belonging,
relationships, and life.
This isn't the end.
I have an ace in the hole.
He is greater than you in any form.
He is the Healer, He speaks life.
"I will never leave you or forsake you."
"I loved you before you were born"
"You are free in my Love."
"If I am for you, who can be against you?"
He touches my scars,
they disappear.
He wraps me in a blanket of safety.
He restores my soul.
He is Truth, Love, my Refuge.
The battle is won, my worth is not in myself,
it comes from the Lord.
Shame, you have no hold on me.
