The Human Within the Chaos

Wowza,
It has been a long time since I have posted, and quite honestly, I haven't really been in the mindset to write anything down as my thoughts have been quite scattered.  As most of you know my blog kind of documents my journey through life, the rough times, and the good.  Sometimes it comes out in poetry, and sometimes as a letter or journal.  Tonight, I am not poetic, I just miss sharing with you and getting what seems like crazy ideas out of my head and onto the screen.  


If you don't know, I am a survivor of many things, lately I am most focused on surviving anorexia and also post traumatic stress disorder.  The eating disorder definitely feeds off of the fear and terror that the ptsd causes so together they can really wreak havoc on a person's mental and physical well-being.  I am not afraid to tell you that I struggle, I am not even afraid that you will judge me, my fear is that mental illness will be forever misunderstood and treated as a taboo subject.  


Today I had three or four people ask me what PTSD was and how I could have it since I have not been in the military.  I think that is a great topic to discuss because countless people suffer from this diagnosis every day because it is misunderstood and stereotyped.  First of all, there are 2 types of PTSD.

Outside Looking In

You stand at the window and witness me fall

and desire to help but you can't even call

looking in from the outside its a powerless place

and all you want is peace to reside in my space

My furniture is broken, previous ruin did it in

justifying the fear from the people looking in

The walls are in grave danger as wobbly they stand

and from outside, it appears that you have been banned.