Trusting, Naive, or just Plain Stupid?

I have always been a very trusting and forgiving person, and I find that these are qualities that most people value and respect.  The only thing is that "most" people is not "all" people.  The scum that falls outside of "most" people are the urchins that take advantage of trusting and forgiving people. 



I made a huge mistake today in trusting someone that I already knew was not trustworthy.  He has proven to me in the past that he cannot be counted on, and instead of paying attention to that, I ignored it.  He told me that he was in a jam and was going to be kicked out of his apartment at 5pm if he didn't pay the rest of his rent.  My first thought was 


"Geez, that sucks, I have been helped out by people when I have been in a jam, and I know that God has blessed me, maybe I should help him out since I just got my student loan check."  


So I did.  I loaned him money and then he stopped communicating with me and I really have no way to get ahold of him.  After all of this, I went through a couple of hours of wailing on myself with hurtful words and judgments that if said to someone else would probably end a relationship.  Lucky for me, I have a great friend and my Dad who both responded in the same way.  What they told me is something that will linger for a very long time.


"Haley, life is not perfect, none of us are perfect, we fuck up and will continue to do so.  Learn from it and move on."


What great words, I am not huge on swearing myself, but every now and then there are appropriate uses for the "f word".  It has been a big ordeal, but after a good night sleep and consult with the wise ones in my life, I have decided that if my giving this guy money was a way to bless him, so be it.  God doesn't judge what is done with our blessings, He sees the heart of the giver, and I definitely had good intentions.  Expensive lesson, however, I will learn from it and stop beating myself up.  


Sometimes I am my worst enemy, its time to learn to be my best friend.


You are Loved!
Haley